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Think Better about Fear

Unknown-4Whenever something isn’t going well in my life (especially when it is about some conflict between myself and another person) the friend I am discussing my concern with will say something to me like, “This is all in your head Laura”, meaning, “what you are fretting about or suffering over is your own thinking – creating this”.

As frustrating and unwelcoming that response is to me, it is exactly right. It is not just the years of study I have put into this concept, but in the conditioning and practice of this mindset that has me stand firm in the belief  that this is true.

 Let’s take FEAR for example.  Mild fear to start with.  Afraid to address a friend about a misunderstanding or afraid to make a cold call on a new customer.

I used to feel some FEAR around the idea of both of these, and I would let the FEAR signal or trigger this kind of thinking:  “You better not”, “You’ll screw up”, “It won’t go well”, and so on…. and that would STOP ME COLD IN MY TRACKS and I would do nothing.

But then one day, after some BETTER THINKING, I flipped this right side up and decided FEAR IS YOUR FRIEND. “Isn’t fear always the first one on the scene?” “Doesn’t fear toss a generous and helpful load of adrenaline in me to enable a bit MORE on the scene?” How is that for loyalty, attentiveness and support?

Indeed –

Fear shows up when you begin to shrink.

Fear shows up when you are doubting your strength.

Fear shows up when you have become too complacent or lazy.

Fear shows up when it see’s what you desire is within arms reach.

Fear is a good and loyal friend that you should welcome and appreciate when you feel him/her coming.

Fear sends you the signal to KEEP GOING.

Fear encourages you to be bolder.

Fear tells you to Believe in yourself.

Fear is trying to tell you “You can do this”!!

So, how about you give this thinking a try.  Change your understanding and relationship with Fear and make it your BEST  NEW FRIEND!!

You can do this!!


Laura Burkey is a Master Certified Coach with 18 years of experience in the field of Interpersonal Communications and Success Psychology. Through her coaching practice, Laura Burkey Coaching, she works with individuals and couples to replace outdated thinking with practices that strengthen and condition a person’s beliefs and thought patterns so that they can take consistently smarter, more efficient actions to create more success at work and at home. Laura offers private and group coaching, custom workshops, speaking, and couples communication coaching. For more information, visit

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